About Chris "Xenon" Hanson

With apologies to Hugh Gallagher.

I am a dynamic figure, often seen Climbing Trees and Microwave Towers and crushing computers with difficult computations.

I have been known to redesign algorithms on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of Big O Notation. I translate code from MFC and .NET into straight C++. I write articles that few people outside of esoteric fields ever read. I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I scuba dive for a week straight.

I have skiied four of the seven continents. I cook CD-ROMs and pickles in unconventional ways. I am an expert in Delaunay Triangulation and Voronoi Tesselation, a veteran Win32 warrior, and have lived in a tent in Antarctica. I have been referenced in web comics.

I play Command and Conquer Generals: Zero Hour. I was a National Merit Scholarship Semi-Finalist and grew up with Matt Stone. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large pirate ship playsets in my yard for my son. I recycle old computers, and styrofoam packing peanuts.

I am freelance photographer, a book reviewer, and space writer, I juggle and I live above 8000ft. I once won free Motley Crew tickets, but they were practically behind the stage. I play with Legos and I hover.

I have friends in low places and high places and ancestors in Ireland, Denmark and Norway. The Oslo airport is built over top of my ancestral family's farm. I wear sunscreen and hats.

I've read Ayn Rand, and wondered about it. I've read the Silmarillion and sort of enjoyed it. I read part of Gödel, Escher, Bach and I hope to re-read it when I'm smarter. I've read every piece of Zelazny I can find. I listen to a lot of Rush. I am skilled at both Sudoku and Minesweeper, though I prefer to write algorithms to solve them than play them exhaustively. I know what PC LOAD LETTER means, and I own and use a printer that says it.

With the help of eighteen friends and family, I designed and remodeled my son's bedroom in a Dr Seuss theme in one weekend, while my wife was away on a trip. And filmed it for a video. I hunt for Red Balloons. I own and am proficient with good cooking utensils and knives, and I am not afraid to use them. I make a mean crepe, good pumpkin creme brulee, and can improvise good food from almost anything in the refrigerator.

I think I worked for the CIA once, but they wouldn't tell me who they were. But the check was good. I am a very good marksman, and I am decent archer. I know how to throw knives. I once reprimanded Paul O'Neill at his own TSO concert.

My personal hero is Antarctic Explorer Ernest Shackleton:
"For scientific leadership, give me Scott, for swift and efficient travel give me Amundsen. But when you are in a hopeless situation, when you are seeing no way out, get down on your knees and pray for Shackleton. Incomparable in adversity, he was the miracle worker who would save your life against all the odds and long after your number was up. The greatest leader that ever came on God's earth, bar none." -Sir Raymond Priestley, a member of Shackleton's 1907-09 Nimrod Expedition.

I dropped out of an EE/CS(minor) program at University of Colorado at Denver when I realized I ought to be teaching the programming classes. I do not have a degree, but I have taught in England, Switzerland and the US. When I retire, I hope to live in New Zealand.

I dream up cool technological ideas and make them happen. I have the job I dreamed of as a child growing up. Except for the part about building giant intergalactic fighting robots, but I'm working on that.

My nickname is simply a tip of the hat to an obscure pun on the words Argon/Are Gone made by a friend who later lost most of his memory in a motorcycle accident and can't remember the actual origins. It was originally "Lord Xenon", on the assumption that an inert "Noble" gas ought to have a title. The Greek root word xenos (xenophobe, et al) means a stranger or foreigner.

I can be reached at

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